in the sixties and seventies, everyone went over the top
musicians wore outlandish costumes and behaved as if they were invincible
sometimes, they believed it
but mostly, it was because they had seen through the facade of the system
they did lots of psychedelic drugs which taught them that everything… and yes, i do mean… everything… is utterly ridiculous
there’s literally nothing you can say, think, feel, believe, wear or do that isn’t… just plain silly
rather than take ourselves seriously, why not revel and delight in the temporal, inane shenanigans that are our lives…
ourselves
these days, everyone is up their own asses, again
everyone is busy, twenty-four-seven, trying to convince everyone else that they’re the coolest, that they’ve got it all figured out
“if you’re into disco, you’re not cool, because disco was silly and they just thought it was cool, before everyone knew better”
or
“if you’re into _______, then you’re not cool, because ________.”
put whatever you want in there, classic rock, polka, country, surf music… whatever
someone is going to be actually offended that you like it
“if you’re into that, then you’re not cool, because that’s not what i’m doing and i’m pretty much the only one who’s doing what’s cool.”
it only tells us how terrified you are of our opinions of you
and that’s really the only thing that sets you apart as being truly ridiculous
it’s the not knowing that you’re ridiculous
that not knowing is what makes you comical, farcical
acting cool is cool but believing you’re cool… well, that just makes you kitschy instead of campy
but if you start right out of the gate, convinced that everything about you and what you’re doing is utterly ridiculous, with the intention of milking that silliness for everything it’s worth…
then it’s not ridiculous at all, however ridiculous it is
and it is
for the love of god, please stop trying to convince us that you’re cool and that what other people are doing isn’t
it only makes you into a sad caricature, a parody
you see, we really don’t care what you do, as long as you do it with all of your heart and soul
put on a ten gallon hat deck yourself out in wild makeup wear a smoking jacket sing out of key… in pig latin play bongos while tap dancing do the tango to speed metal dress in leather and do opera dress in drag and do gangsta rap wear a suit and tie while you sing outlaw country music
just know beyond any shadow of doubt, that before, during and after…
having stepped briefly outside for the dogs to tend their needs, between pockets of rain, buckets of it, steadily dropping, now halted for a short while; a temporary ceasefire, however tenuous
everything damp the cows, they look like cardboard cutouts, propped up in the fields
an air of patience leans in, whispering to me “the world will wait for you. it will wait.”
it’s an enticing thought, though, steeped in bitter lies, it most certainly is
the world waits for no one
the world gives not a single, used damn for you
not for your upper respiratory infection not for your needing to heal, before you can move on and finish up all those projects
the world thinks nothing of burying your carcass in its garden
you’ll make good fertilizer for its flowers, it does care about those; far, far more than it does about you, at any rate
lots of useful minerals and nutrients in a decaying human body; should produce some prize petunias
but all this relaxed barometric pressure the gentle, lilting fog, the peaceful quiet, the slow, calm meandering of the dogs and these fake cows
today, it all conspires
enveloping me in pleasant, wistful fictions, treating me as its mushroom, kept in the dark of convalescence and fed the manure of untruth
back inside, now the humidifier is gurgling its gentle truths i dive into the recesses of its deep end swimming in the mists of vapor, hints of rosemary, clove, camphor and the other, colorful fish who lurk in its dark ocean
i take leisurely swims in the splintering, fingering streams of the internet and all its watery amusements it too, tells me wonderfully entertaining lies, everything i want to hear and more
but i know better… about the world and the possibility of it patiently waiting
i know how it will steamroll right over the slow, the weak, the poor, the infirm, the drowning;
those who are drowning in debt, drowning in heartbreak, drowning in their own lungs
the world is all too happy to step on their heads, with its heavy boots and its callous lack of caring
it cares not for your concerns of convenience
i know of the world, how it is how it always will be
i know of the world
i know that, at least for now, i will stay here, in this little, comfortable blindspot, a nook, a cranny which the world has somehow overlooked, somehow erroneously missed
the world be dammed
if you ask me, it has gotten its own way for far too long
I met tragedy yesterday On the south end, today He smiled at me Said “Walk this way” He took my hand, said to me “Welcome friend. You’ll be with me.”
Said “I’m pleased to know you.” Said “I’m pleased to do you.” Said “You may leave…” “You will return.” He said “You still smile, child…” “But you will learn.”
I am no hope***
I said “I want my freedom.” I said “I gotta be free.” So, I told that man… “Get the hell away from me.” I want my life I want my life I want my life Don’t need no tragedy
*** This is an unspoken lyric. It’s part of the original poem, included here for context.
I climbed like a monkey, up in a tree Trying to find a piece of me Way up in the branches so high I found that I cannot fly… as of yet
But I’m looking for a way
I’m at fault for inciting the madness And sometimes I can’t stop the sadness But I’m learning to ride waves of joy Toward manhood moves a boy
Looking for a way
I got dizzy and fell like a lion Into the dust of Orion Those stars; the ones up in the sky; The one he made up in his mind, The one that’s still looking
This piece is from an upcoming collection of poems, called conjunct neptune. The details of the book are in the link, which is the first poem that I wrote in the series. If you haven’t been through that one, it might be more helpful to read it, first. There, I explain what the theme of the book is.
This piece is about Luna, our Moon, when She reaches the point in the roughly twenty-nine day, lunar cycle that She sits in the same space with Pluto… you know, that thing that wasn’t a Planet and then it was for a while… and then it wasn’t, again.
Pluto is similar in several ways to Saturn. The similarity resides in that both Saturn and Pluto/Hades represent a miserly, curmudgeonly, old and cranky energy. They’re both decidedly masculine in presentation but definitely not in a loving father kind of way. Saturn is said to have eaten his own younguns.
Saturn/Kronos Eating A Delicious Snack
Pluto is the Roman God of Wealth. While not identical in nature to Hades, He is similar enough, in many respects.
He holds dominion over wealth, particularly anything that is obtained from the Earth. Since our whole economy is (or was or ought to be; you decide) based on the trading of gold, silver and thousands of other minerals, that’s arguably a rather huge amount of influence on money.
All that goes into the making of the things we buy and sell and trade, it all comes out of the Earth. Even services use material resources (offices, paper recording keeping and endless cups of coffee). This means that they, too, are part of Pluto’s territory.
The Greek equivalent of Pluto is Hades, who is famous for presiding over the Underworld, as it was laid out in Greek mythology. While Hades is not synonymous with Christian concepts of Satan or the Devil, He was still considered to have a brooding, intense personality. It’s said that He was the least-liked of all the gods and usually called upon only for curses.
One thing is sure enough, when astrologers look to Pluto, when other planets are aspecting that body, the effect is one of intensification. Whatever it is, the force of Pluto is one that assists in creating wealth; many uber-rich folks have a Jupiter/Pluto conjunction in their natal chart. But that same energy acts as a multiplier of other ideas and behaviors, as well. Not all of them are good, by anyone’s yardstick.
Pluto generally gives a dark, rather gruff and grumbly, moody tone, one which is keenly interested in power, information, serious research, the accumulation of large amounts of money and so on. The characters of Scrooge and Dr. Frankenstein both come to mind.
Pluto’s influence is the stuff that spy novels, governmental coups and hostile corporate takeovers are made of. So when the lovely, sweet and nurturing energy of the Moon meets with the Lord of Hell, the mood tends to turn a little dark.
This is compounded by the fact that (among Her sweeter qualities) Luna is also a harbinger of mystery, confusion and sometimes, even madness. These are usually (although by no means, always) in reference to initiations and rites of passage. But sometimes, it’s the plain ol’ garden variety crazies.
When Luna conjoins Pluto, attitudes in general lean toward the more greedy, distrustful and even the downright paranoid.
This is not to say that a person who has Luna conjunct Pluto in their chart would have these terrible (or the more positive) traits. A person has many Planets and aspects between them, each thing acting as a counterweight against the others.
Here’s a neat list of famous peeps who have this aspect. They’re a wide mix of personality types, though it’s safe to say that most of them lean toward the intense side of things, even when it’s a positive flavor of intensity. So this piece isn’t about bashing anyone who has that aspect (nor is any other piece in the collection).
No, this is about the energy of these two stellar bodies, by themselves, if we were somehow able to isolate them from everything else. We cannot, obviously. In this hypothetical case, the nurturing of the Moon is almost always degraded and polluted by the the obsession that Pluto represents. The wealth multiplication of Pluto is deranged by the comfort-seeking of Luna and results in “I need all of it, so I can feel good.”
If you enjoy the poem, consider supporting more such creative madness and lunar/plutonian madness, by yours truly, over at Patreon/Magus72.
Now, bearing all of these arcane ideas in mind, I give you (or rather, I row you across the river Styx, to the dark, forlorn shores of)…
conjunct pluto
what fresh hell is this?
of what use, is your clever array of pointless words?
when all, soon enough, becomes kindling for the black flames of unforgiving abyss?
sour not, my tired ear, you tiny, petulant slug
muddle not, what little respite is left, of sweet, peaceful silence with all your futile mumblings of hope and dreams and other, such soap opera nonsenses
leave me alone
and keep all your words… all those pathetic, condemned souls, standing foolish on the gallows, as if last words were ever anything more than last
ask me no favors
i expect you to lie
for i see into the murky heart of all your dark, shady schemes all your plotting and planning to stab me in the back once i am not looking
and because of this, i am always looking
i am always watching
i never sleep
i have cameras and listening devices, bugs planted everywhere and a legion of spies
because one must take great care, and use only a measure of the mean, an average of what intelligence they offer using only the most plausible bits of what the bulk of them say
never place all your bets on the words of any one, particular spy because you cannot trust spies nor words, nor people, nor intelligence
nor anything else, for that matter; not that anything matters
the only thing that you can trust is that trust in anything is, in itself… untrustworthy
trust only that things will always break and that they must be repaired trust only that things will die and that the burial of these things is expensive
the undertaker is himself, always on the take and hence, i abstain from the taking on of anything that has a pulse because such things are merely mouths to feed they are things which get sick and doctors, too, are expensive and they are things which disappoint you, break your heart
but i’m more sensible than all that; i paid the doctor to remove my heart
most sensible purchase i ever made, that surgery
hearts and souls and conscience, these are luxuries that are far too expensive too many sick days, lost wages and worries which are not worth the wear and tear
but the point is…
i’m watching you because i know your ways
you and your patiently, waiting for me to die or to slip up or fumble, so that you may usurp my power
i know of all your clandestine, assassin’s designs your machinations for the taking of all that i have all that i have worked for and all that i have stolen all that i have swindled away from the trusting all that i have, only because i possessed the backbone, the fortitude, to slay the meek to take what was theirs and make it my own
in short… i know you
because i see the bitter truth of things, how all are self-concerned, consumed with self and nothing, nor anyone else
therefore, i keep to myself and i keep everything for myself i retain all that is, as my own
since when did anyone ever do anything for me?
you must take by force and by fakery by clever graft and by hard work and by brute force and by the bloody blade and you must never give anything away, not ever, not to anyone and never sell anything that you may need, later and never keep anything that you can sell and never sell anything too cheaply but never hold onto anything that is cheap and will depreciate in value, over time but never spend too much on anything
you understand?
you must be wily and wise and clever and most of all, ruthless and cunning
for all that there is, in this barren world, is the having of things and the having, not of things
there is the taking and the being took and nothing else
and they’ll all try to take everything that you took from someone else
they’ll try to take it for themselves in a heartbeat, leaving you with nothing but an empty basket of space, where things used to be
except that there will be no basket, because they’ll have taken that, too
and so, mark my words, you dying insect…
not that words were ever anything worth marking down, unless they were the words on the deeds to land and bank accounts…
you mark my words…
you’d better take and take quickly or else be took from
and you’ll be left not a solitary crumb, not a single morsel, to put into the greedy, little mouths of all your expensive, insect offspring
now, off and away with you
i’ve no time for you
i’m terribly busy, watching everything that was or is or ever will be
watching it all burn and crumble into ash and blow away, into oblivion
Author’s Note: This piece is brand new. This piece is ancient. It speaks of things which happen daily. It shares memories of the long, long ago. It is deeply rooted in yesterday. It is severed from everything except tomorrow.
No More
No more crawling, borrowed knees To beg or steal a parched penance Privilege of chewing Tiny, tinfoil excuses
Receipts, all signed Cuneiform zero There, in the register Where it speaks of the balance Which is long overdue A large and loud emptiness
The slaying of pragmatism And the prodigal son The wisest of investments Healthy, constant dividends Since there are no returns
Assets freely traded On the scales in the marketplace Sacrifices, invisible, smoking On strange altars of doubt
Multiplication of manna eaten in secret Loaves baked, foreign recipes Nets tossed into distant waters Plucking up fishes, filling the nets Pouring floods out of the wide mouth Fleeing the estate, belly of greater fish Absconding from duty Tariffs of masticating consummation
Cutting off the heads of what was, Peeling away, shedding foul-smelling skin, Pulling off all those silvery flakes of armor Toss carcasses in frying pan, Serve with herbs grown in new earth Feast, fructifying small kingdom And a table for one
No more buried talents All now upon display A day of rest is earned In the refusing of yesterday’s complacency Tossing out its tired labors
Cutting down the vines Which brought decades of wine Wine that choked those throats which drank In the seeking of blindness Attempting to drown out All hearing of familiar, droning complaints
A fatted calf not missed, From the cool, shaded hammock That swings peacefully in a calm, quiet Where the only shadow cast Is that of the grand, old oak tree Whose face is always welcome Who speaks only and ever Kindly of its kin Or not at all
Wait now, at the oasis, For the promised bride’s coming Who brings the cool water from the well, For a desert weary camel
All is soon to be right, For the steadfast resistance Against worldly temptations
Sovereignty steps out Dropping the broken, black irons Of miserable bondage Lead, flowing through the river veins Of miserly brothers Cruel rage of bad blood
New, mazel tov celebrations Of kaphar, divine grace Selah and hallelujah In a day of jubilee
The god of forgetfulness, Is ever gracious and joyful Drunk on the charms Of plentiful, good company
Regaled today, by delightful tales, Told by they who arrive on the morrow During a banquet, yet to bloom Banking on its promise Of them and their warm presence
A toast is drunk daily To what is seen Which is nothing For what is In the eyes Most of which Is good
A steward, in secret Stealing everything that was sacred Receives all, in due course New master’s blessings Of themselves, a fine reward
And spared a death, daily The stoning of harsh, marble law Seven generations Removed from the sight And all senses
Tools of old bone Hand me down worries Covet, instead, that wild courage Which rails against the unknown
Naked, cast out No starved, gulag wages Demanding the whole The lion’s share of nary A single thing
Punished sin of necromancy Crime of insisting upon the rubric Of a heritage of heresy Brooding there, in the long lines Where impatient fools bicker and stew Wrestling with the dogs over scraps
A hindsight, an insight A bird advances, eagerly Plopping itself into the hand
The exiling of perdition Raises up its secret children High above the floods Where the true blessings of heaven May kiss them upon their heads Sealing in immunity against sorrow
That these should never dwell In that place of woeful wandering Stone gardens of Golgotha Where is never and nothingness Only long, dusky shades Commiserating with the dead
Winding through the wild witchery, tripping headlong into tribal trance… follow the wise serpent into the netherworld.
Another bizarre, bombastic track from the electronic music album, Crossing the Rubicon.
The video is live on YouTube for all to enjoy but only patrons can download the audio track for this auditory initiation into the æther.
Tribal drums, layering slowly, steadily, methodically atop one another, just as the a snake winds itself into coils.
Haunting, aboriginal howls from the deep belly of the shamanic didgeridoo. Slip on into the prehistoric pool, the temperature of the primordial soup is just fine.
Patrons can access the .mp3 audio file of this track on Patreon.
Beat – from Dark Matter, Poems of Horror and Depravity
It’s been set to a beat, so that your strange æons might be somehow just a touch more symmetrical in nature.
The .mp3 file is attached, feel free to download it and share with anyone you like. Just click the DOWNLOAD button below, to play the track. Or hold the button down and select your SAVE option.
Nameless, black Void and choice-less Surrendered to night, Full of dark Wanting nothing, Now all is empty Free to take up any chain Any desire that one might wish for No desire, no restriction No thirst for servitude There is only the vexing slumber Hunger for the fat of a new kill Is somehow become as a stranger Wandering, wanton hex A nubile delving into psionic prisms Load the chamber With hollow shells of the dead Projected visions of delirium Angelic chasms Frightful clamoring in the cranium Call back the dogs And let them sleep For the dawn will soon enough Overtake their prey That tender light, shredding matter Rending garment and flesh Quite succinctly No need of drummers To time the pulse of this tune The rhythm of it, A vacillating pendulum Lo, it is even without the ability To stray from its precision The striker upon the cylinder Is the pointing, bony finger of The hand of Death, Herself The hammer that clangs the bell Is the Mother of Night, incarnate The femurs of a thousand heroes Beating against the tanned hides Of the children of the same Her crooked digit, A culminating of perpetual cycle… Stick meets skin, head warps and Sound emanates through eternity Stick meets skin, head warps and Sound emanates through eternity Stick meets skin, head warps and Sound emanates through eternity A beat all too well pounded into the Collective memory Burned into a hive mind Fallen into cerebral pits of “Never before” We have at last, found the true past It is even more horrid and shameful Than we feared It is full of monsters It is full of us
Copyright 2021 Kevin Trent Boswell
If you dig this particular brand of madness, you’ll want to support the creation of it and get lots of bonuses that aren’t available here or anywhere else, over on Patreon:
Only one beast in all of creation Only one which is anywhere known Finds pleasure, perverse, even vocation Unnecessarily harming its own
Of nature’s many carnivorous creatures A vast array of poisons appear Murder is common among their features Motives of territory, status and fear
Death was here from the earliest days Primal defense and sexual stuff Animals kill in a whole slew of ways But only one just can’t get enough
Horrific numbers and manners of killing In the “most-evolved” is hate diagnosed Not hungry or scared, finds it all thrilling Only one, to true evil, the host
Complex schemes arise in one beast Thrives on misery, whenever it can Though many kill, to say the least The most murderous critter is man
If you like bands like Queens of the Stone Age, Jane’s Addiction, Jimi Hendrix or The Mars Volta, then you’ll probably dig this.
This is a brand new recording of the song that I wrote many years ago but never had a chance to record it until now. I’ve played it live with my band quite a few times but unfortunately, we never caught it on tape.
I’m playing the bass and guitar parts and singing. Everything that you hear on this track is me, except for the drums. That’s because I don’t have access to a live drummer right now. Besides, feeding and caring for a wild animal like that is expensive.
Here’s the full video on YouTube. Don’t forget to hit the thumbs up 👍 subscribe ✅ and the notifications bell 🔔
The song is called blind in the sun and the lyrics are below. Originally, it was a poem and I set it to music (hence the Roman numerals in the lyrics).
The .mp3 file is attached to my Patreon page, so you can go there, download it (for free) and play it whenever you want.
I forget sometimes that people don’t always follow my rather eccentric, artistic choices, so I will explain something about this track. I purposefully chose not to clean up the sloppier guitar licks on this track, because it’s the feel that I was going for… teetering on the edge of the abyss.
Going back and punching in smoother, cleaner guitar parts is easy enough. I just didn’t want ’em, not for this. I’ll mention two songs that inspired my playing on this. One is “God”, by Tori Amos. Her guitar player is way better than he sounds on that track. It’s dirty, gritty and foul, for a reason. The song is about existential angst and the loss of faith, so it’s gotta be grimy.
The other is “Come On (Let The Good Times Roll)” by The Jimi Hendrix Experience. On that song, he does what jazz musicians refer to as “going outside”, meaning that he lets his solos wander just a little bit out of time and out of key, on purpose. Of course, he brings it back in or it wouldn’t be interesting. I chose to step outside on this track but hopefully not too much.
Feel free to share the link to this page or the Patreon page, or the YouTube link on your social media, that’s the best form of advertising there is for underground artists. I thank you in advance. Enjoy!
Just click that big, unwieldy link, below, to listen to the track. Or go to the Patreon page. You can download the song from the Patreon page and have it for your very own. Just don’t forget to water it every few days and never feed it after midnight.
Blind in the Sun⠀ Can you cringe beneath The shadow of a fly? You’d better try Running ‘cross the sand Fire in the hearts of your band In the joy of being alive Stripped of delusion And so forwardly stride
Lost in the garden with canonized illusions There are the keepers Of the tower But I am not a member Of the dark December The light of the sun refracts In my eye
II.
Everything is water Electric fluid matter In a paper cup Called Time
III.
Somewhere in the North There are real vampires I know you go to visit From time to time To roll in the stench The decadence of Thirst for blood To dine with a pack Of wild gods
I have no intent Of adopting your bent; Partying down with the devil On your shoulder
I have no intent Of going where you went Beating on a skull In a hellish midnight circle
But who am I to say? That you are not ok? I will simply stay Behind
This piece is new and is part of a book that I’m working on, called one pass by. The theme is one trip of the Moon through the lunar cycle.
The Moon is the protagonist of each poem, speaking directly to the reader or just thinking out loud. These are musings about the moods and experiences that come up each month, as Luna aspects the other planetary bodies in our solar system.
Our moon travels around the entire ecliptic (faster than any of the other, traditional planets) in roughly 29 days. That means She regularly conjoins (meets) all the other Planets, as well as forming what astrology calls aspects with them, such as sextile, square, trine and opposition.
Each of these angles prompts a different type of energy. Making sense of how these aspects affects us is a big part of what serious astrologers do.
In astrology, the word planet comes from the Greek, meaning “wanderer”. So yes, the Sun (Sol) and the Moon (Luna) are each a proper Planet (capitalized P for respect), even though they are not planets, in the astronomical sense.
In mythology, each of the Planets are ascribed as being the same energy or archetype of a particular God or Goddess. Our versions are named after the Roman Deities and correspond quite closely to their Greek counterparts.
In essence, these poems are the Goddess Luna, on her usual, monthly travels around Earth and Sol, the Sun. She’s talking about Her experiences with each of them, telling us the story of what can usually be expected, when She bumps into the other Gods in some way.
Each piece is written in lowercase, including the proper names, such as Saturn and Jupiter. This is a stylistic choice and nothing else. I probably read too much e.e. cummings and I’m just plain weird like that.
People who understand basic astrology will probably get a deeper meaning of each piece but they written simply enough that people with no astrological background can still get the gist of what’s happening and follow the stories.
The Moon is representative of many things and the easiest of these to grasp right away is emotions. Where the Moon is and how She is interacting with the other bodies out there determines a huge amount of what wee feel, collectively and individually.
This piece is about when Luna occupies the same bit of space as the Planet Saturn, who is the Lord of Time, restriction, boundaries, limitations, duty, architecture, crops (to some degree), geology, slavery and prisons. He also rules over contracts and institutions, especially in their more complex, bureaucratic and byzantine forms.
If you enjoy this and you want to see more of these produced, ha a look over the tier benefits on my Patreon page and become a patron, to support this work.
Author’s Note: This piece is dedicated to anyone who is still awake and should not be, to anyone who is worried about what things are waiting, up ahead.
Nighttime
Trouble, in the nighttime, fell Upon too wakeful brow, Which ought to sleep
Coins cast in tainted well, Uncertainty of where and how, Enough to cause anyone to weep
Pitching gold piece of its own, Came an angel of repose and rest With curious question, whispered, quiet
“A myriad things, all unknown… How is it you’re certain… to fail the test? Without shred of doubt, that may deny it?”
Of course, no good answer was there, for this And searching, mind grew sore and tired Eyes heavy, in downward creep
The angel placed soft, loving kiss Upon empty head, thoughts all expired Drifting peaceful now, into the deep
Here’s a really neat project that I’m pretty excited about!
I asked some of my friends to make recordings of themselves reading my poems. Quite a few thought it was a great idea and were more than happy to contribute.
The link here is the .mp3 of the first one I’ve chosen to present to you. You can click on it and just listen or right-click and save, if you want to keep it. It’s free!
By the way, if you want to help out and support more cool stuff like this, see my Patreon page, Magus72.
I’ll be posting them here, one at a time. I’ve had a lot of fun putting this together and I hope you enjoy listening to them.
The main thing I wanted to achieve here is get a variety of people, reading the pieces… in the way that they hear them.
None of the readers were given any prompts about how to read. A few people preferred to have something assigned to them and so I picked for them. But in most cases, they chose their own pieces to read.
This first poem is called “none” and it’s from my book in the current.
Our guest reader is Xander and he did a great job with it.
I’m posting the text, as well. That way, you can follow along or read it first, then listen or just listen and find out where it takes you… your choice. Enjoy.
during his therapy session, while each were sharing, respectively, what they felt was their higher purpose in life… Jerry spoke up
undeterred by his own rudeness in cutting off a fellow confessor’s heart-wrenching story of loss and liquid lament, mid-sentence
Jerry spouted out, with a strangely calm resolve,
I think that I was meant to do a lot of cocaine.
it was peculiar that he raised his hand, since he clearly wasn’t willing to wait even one more second; he’d started speaking, before his arm had even reached full extension
there was, after that… a noticeably uncomfortable five or so seconds of… silence
numb jaws, flushed faces perplexed looks
Jerry continued
I believe in the perfect perfection of God’s Will.
Nothing has ever occurred that was not originally of God’s intent.
Furthermore,
and here, he smiled broadly, clearly pleased with his own, peculiar, thought process
God is nothing at all like people have assumed. God is like a reliable toaster and He always pops out perfectly toasted bread.
I do a lot of cocaine. And so I conclude that I was meant to do a lot of cocaine. Because, if it wasn’t God’s will, then God wouldn’t allow it. God wants me to do a lot of coke. It’s part of the divine plan.
quite a bit more… silence
those in attendance checked in, with the inside of themselves, that yes, they were indeed awake and not just dreaming in their beds
the woman sitting beside Jerry felt her tongue growing heavy and thick
the usually quite reliable and familiar-feeling muscle in her mouth now plummeting down into new, strange unfamiliarity, functioning as little more than a old, motel carpet with a bad, floral pattern; lying in the way of her breathing, collecting fuzz and dirt and hair from the boots and flip-flops of loud, annoying vacationers and conventioneers from Indiana, police conferences
one throat cleared…
this sound was a decidedly clear signal, as if the all-clear flare had just been fired up into the newly interesting air, signaling to the combat-weary troops that they could, once again, raise their heads out of the tired trenches
a solitary cigarette ash fell onto a designer shoe knockoff one, older man shifted angrily in his wobbly chair and managed to slosh a bit of coffee on his brand new, polo shirt
several others nervously sipped their own coffees and sodas while others sat in amazement and some in a giddy but hushed, chuckling amusement
Tom, the group’s bemused leader arched forward in his chair, placed his elbows on his knees with an unusual force, trying to anchor his anger and remain diplomatic, despite the outburst against order and after releasing his clenched jaw, he somehow allowed himself to say
I think what this pandemic was lacking is a song, a tune that the people can hum. Therefore, to fill the current need, I have adapted an old favorite, with new (improved) lyrics.
I present to you, “Battle Against The Public”.
[sung to the tune of the famous song, Battle Hymn of the Republic]
I read a post on Facebook about a man who, as a child, was regularly, severely beaten by his mother.
He said that watching Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood showed him that he didn’t deserve that cruelty and he said “Mr. Rogers saved my life”. I couldn’t seem to locate the post again but it inspired this piece.
Be kind to each other. When people will not allow you to be kind, then at least be BIG and just walk away.
There’s a huge difference between choosing to avoid arguments/fights and being a coward. People need to understand the difference.
Some people think that every minor confrontation is a threat to their wellbeing or even just their ego. They think that if they walk away, it equals weakness.
The real weakness is lacking the self-confidence to simplify go around it and ignore it. If backed into a corner or loved ones are threatened, then fight; to the death, if necessary.
But if someone is just mouthing off, you can choose to just ignore it. Rather than it saying that you’re too afraid to deal with it, it says that you’re too BIG to deal with it.
And you never know… your complete refusal to be rattled or fearful or angry or to be drawn into a fight, it might just have a profound effect on the person who is challenging you.
They may change, they may not, doesn’t matter. What matters is that YOU will change.
